the pain of wanting to be hungry
feeling guilty for craving
a proclivity for self starvation
for hiding food under napkins
offering to wash dishes to scrape off uneaten food
without eyebrows being raised
tortilla chips and peanut butter
drinking water to feel full
cigarettes are hunger suppression
they make you look so cool
layering sweaters and turtlenecks
“this style is the newest trend”
shaking cold in the middle of summer
“it’s like she’s 90 pounds with her clothes soaking wet”
i’m just not hungry
mom i swear i’ll eat later
“oh i’m getting lunch with friends”
i’m trying not to eat so many sweets
“That made me sick last right, remember?”
oh i had that food last night
don’t worry
it’s okay
i’ll try again tomorrow.
