Skip to main content

Author: Sandee Gertz

Undertow


Newspaper crumpling, my sister
sops up vinegar from a bowl,
the window squeaking as she scrubs
at its watery promise.

She’s taller than me, even on her knees,
hair back, jaw set as her hand
circles then dips, circles then dips,
stops. Even I can see she’s distracted

from the messy house by sunlight
sliding through glass in long angular plates
as if life is about to bloom.
The ice in our mother’s glass shifts

and my sister’s braid sways,
her slender arm returns
to circling. I have no idea
who I will be without her.

Christ Born Silent


“Why isn’t he crying?”
I look up to the Angel her sleeves rolled back
Covered in my fluids
Thousands of drops coat her fingers
My blood the brightest, cakes her pale hands,
The hands holding my son

He’s not the glass doll in the nativity set
He’s limp
Silent
Silent night, holy night
She looks up with blue eyed horror
This is not the perfect scene

He was supposed to be loud, hungry and gorgeous
I look as she takes a single white nail and cuts the cord
One swipe we are no longer one
The boy I screamed to hold
He didn’t scream back
Silent night, holy night

She rushes away holding him
Like if she doesn’t cradle his neck and back He might fall in two
That’s when it started, my sobs
The need to stand up
I was bleeding, split in two
I tried to stand and cried like a dog hit by it’s owners truck

Shock and need to get away, away, away
Joseph wrapped me in his arms
To comfort me?
No, to keep me still
Pin the weeping cow as her calf
is ripped toward the meat drawer

Next to me in the dirty broken barn
The donkey’s ears twitch
Eyes wide as it lets out a quiet huff
I knew she was a Jill
In her eyes was a mother
who’s waited like me before
Silent night, holy night

The Angel shook
I could hear her teeth chatter
God didn’t prepare her for a dead savior
Her wings were tall
making a white feathery wall
Blocking me from my boy

I hate her
She delivered my son
She’s saving my son
She’s here to protect us and I hate her
If he doesn’t live
What am I?
A game

Nine months of pain
Morning sickness
Feet swollen into hooves
Tears fat and stupid
I was a dancing fool
The bells ringing above my head

I thought it confirmation he was with me
All it had been was a jester’s hat
Hot tears rolled down my cheeks
I pushed myself away from Joseph
who loved me through everything
My pretty saintly bullshit became his
I was an idiot

I hate god
Give me my son
I’m not asking I’m telling
Don’t let him be a painful transaction
Don’t let him die in a crash he didn’t cause
Don’t make me the foolish dancing monkey

I was fourteen dammit when you asked me
Of course I’d say yes
How dare you
How fucking dare you take my boy
My beautiful sweet, gorgeous, giving, dead, dead, dead-

A single long cry that made my aching core sew itself together
My tears felt like foreign objects on my skin
I didn’t know why they’d be there when’s he’s here
The Angel holds him like a precious thing
A holy thing
A gorgeous gorgeous thing

All mine to love and hold
She sets him in my arms
one hand on his neck the other on his back
I grin like a fool
He’s covered in the filth from my body
I lay a hand on his naked chest his heart beating

It’s gonna run dry one day
To bleed away all wrongs and make all rights
as gorgeous as him
But right now he’s making little squeaks
Tiny confused cries
And when he latches onto my chest I feel him feed

His crying stops
It’s a silent night, a holy night
That’s when I understand why the whole world sings

Cotton Candy Poverty

I regret growing up,
getting older and forgetting
the warm embrace of childhood.
I regret simply agreeing
that once I am a certain age
I must forget running barefoot
and climbing my favorite tree.
I regret even thinking
those hot summer days
wearing a sleeveless striped shirt
were ever even childish.
I miss the feeling of hot sun
and the combination of sweat and dirt.
The late sunsets and bittersweet sticky
fingers simply brought to a halt.
Those grand empty fields,
where I once saw great armies,
are now just empty fields.
To stick my head out the window
and feel the wind on my face,
to see the blue sky
and white clouds,
was once the thrill of a lifetime.
It is now just a forgotten memory.
I regret ever thinking
about how people would judge me.
I forgot about my imagination
and instead,
Gained some heartbreak along the way.
I traded the innocence of childhood
For a thing called “life”.
And yet,
I’ve realized
that my biggest regret of all,
was ever having a regret
in the first place.

Sick Smells

The distance between loss and avoidance
is measured in phone calls
and the gap between visits
and the negative space between
each beep of the machine
and the difference in the smell
of sickness and decay.
Maybe they both smell like flowers.

Red Tag

The old rancher’s chopped, buttery voice hummed as he told me my task for the day. “Tag the youngins’. Green tag’s good for breeding, yellow tag’s alright, and red for meat.” It was a simple task, yet it still made my heart ache.

There was eight calves in all. Three boys, five girls. He’d told me all the tricks to tell which one’s would be good but I can’t pick. I’m a rancher. Trying to be at least. I’ve shot deer and ran a knife between their skin and muscle. I’ve gutted pigs, watching their entrails hit the ground like a clumsy child. I know violence and I know death. Meat cows make hamburgers and I can’t lie, I love me a good steak. I ain’t just a ranchin’ man; I’m a smart man so I know this I swear.

That still don’t stop my hands from trembling for each calf I walk up on. One with grayish white fur and big black eyes won’t stop staring right at me no matter where I go. Even when I’m with the other calves, his eyes track me like he knows. He knows he has his father’s strong muscle and lily white fur. He knows he’s safe, but that his sister gets sores easy and screams all day and all night. He watches me place a red tag on her ear, and for an animal that can’t see much color or feel much emotion, I see his tiny heart break.

When I finally get to him he lets out a low moo of greeting as I reach him in the silver cage. “Yeah, yeah I know. I hate this too.” I look him over feeling the muscle in his legs and remembering how he’s the only calf to never get sick with nothing. I reach for a green tag but even in his knowing eyes, this don’t please him. “Chin up you lil’ thing you’re gonna live a long life of green pastures and lots and lots of babies.”

His moo echoes in the barn as I clip his ear and the more I shush him the more it ticks him off. When I’m done, I rub the top of his head which only ticks him off more. He tears his head back chomping down on my finger in the process. I swing back my hand into a fist on instinct. An instinct I never have and never will use. My hands fall to my side, my fingers shaking against my jeans.

When I was little my momma always said I couldn’t hurt a fly. She’d laugh when I said I wanted to own a ranch. “Now Riley you know ranchers kill things by trade.”

I’d always respond the same way, my boyish southern drawl sounding like chicken scratch personified into speech. “I know momma, but you gotta help it live first. That’s gon’ be my favorite part. Watching it grow up cause of me.”

I stare at him, the green tag bobbing up and down as he shudders his ear trying to wave it off and shake my head. “You’re gonna live a long ass life and when you’re old and stubborn, you’re gonna drop dead.” I look over to the sister of his who was born on the same day from the same father. She has speckles of chestnut running up her legs and haunches that are covered in sores. Her nose is runny from a cold she couldn’t shake from birth, her eyes wet from the constant pain of being alive. “I don’t know what he got planned for you two, but I know if he’s a god who wants any of my prayers you’ll see that little girl running like the day she’s born when he decided to take you from your body.”

I reach out to pat his head again, the malicious look on his baby face gone. I never met a cow who could speak a lick of English, but something in his body knows what I’m saying. He can taste a long easy life like the ball of hay in his lips were replaced with sugar cubes and dew drops.

As I go to leave, I stop as I see the old man hunched over in the doorway to the barn. “You did as I said?” He asked his body a curled over shadow like a comma blocking out the evening sun.

“Yes sir. Eight calves were tagged three green, three yellow, two red.”

He nods slowly, his short frame coming closer into view. His plaid button up has holes in the bottom that never have and never will be mended. He’s a white man with dark leathery skin that has more creases than a crumpled piece of paper. As he gets closer, his soil colored eyes look through thick eyebrows up at me. “Good. They’ll all be grown enough in about three months and the truck’ll be here to grab them then.”

I try to be neutral. Nod my head and not give a damn. I really, really try. I don’t know if it was the widening of my eyes, the crease of my eyebrows, or the tiny downward slight of my lips. Something small and useless no one but that old man would notice.

“You named them didn’t you?”

“What!”

“Don’t play stupid; you heard me, boy.” He gets closer to me, his eyes staring through mine straight to my whirring brain. “Did you name them?”

I look down, my chest full with heavy guilt. “Yes.”

“What’d you name the two headed to the meat truck?”

I walk backwards so he can get a visual. I point to the boy who I chose for the meat truck, his fur pitch black with huge bug eyes. “I named him Soldier cause he looks like he just got back from Vietnam. How big his eyes are and all.” I keep walking until I get to the little girl, her ear trying to twitch off the tag like she knows what it means. “And I named her Lucky cause I think she’s anything but.”

I look to the older farmer expecting him to smack me upside the head and call me an idiot. Instead when I look to him, his eyes have this begrudging softness I’ve never seen in him. “You know the difference between my job and some company that sticks a thousand cows in a warehouse?”

I shake my head and he leans his old tired body on the gate keeping the cows in, it letting out an ancient creak as he does. “They know what care feels like. I had it when I first got this ranch from my father. I was a little older than you but I was just like you. I’d give em’ names. I’d pat their head and talk to them about my day. I had that and I’ve lost it. It ain’t a bad thing boy, but it’s a tiring thing.”

“What are you saying exactly?”

“I’m saying hold onto it as long as you can. The longer you have that, the more human you’ll be when your maker calls you home.”

Black Converse and a Dirt Road

Maria Hope grabbed her black converse that sat by the screen door. Her mother always said that “those converse were a boy’s shoe,” but Maria found no offense in those claims. She tied up the mud-stained, white laces and then ran out the screen door, hearing it slam shut behind her.

“Maria!” she could hear her mother yell as she ran out of the front yard, “be back before dark!”

Maria slowed down as she neared the field. The dirt road was empty, and the sun was hot. Typically, she saw no other person on this lonely road. She usually had it all to herself. Except for that ridiculously hot summer day, when she came across a young boy, who sat hugging his knees on the side of the empty dirt road. She slowly approached the boy who was, at that moment, unaware of her existence.

            “Whatcha doin?” she asked hesitantly. The boy jerked his head up and placed his hands on the ground, ready to jump up.

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said fidgeting with the hem of her pink floral dress that hit just above her knee. Unsuspecting any danger, she plopped down beside the boy.

            “My name is Maria Hope,” she stuck out her hand for him to shake it. The boy, still looking half-stunned and somewhat annoyed, just looked at her. She dropped her hand down.

            “Did your parents not teach you any manners?” she asked giggling, “that’s ok, I don’t mind,”

            Maria looked around at her surroundings. The dirt road sat alone separating a large field and some woods. The sun beat down on the lonely road. The flat, open terrain made Maria feel small. Although she walked this road almost every day, she never really took the time to stop and embrace the atmosphere around it. She looked back over at the boy, who just stared at her with his mouth half open.

            “Well,” Maria began, “you should come with me. I’m going to the woods, just down the road here,” she pointed down the road. Then she stood up and swiped the dust off her dress.

            “Well, see you around, I guess,” Maria stated as she began to continue down the road. She walked towards the fence post that stood alone on the left side of the road. This was where Maria would enter the woods. Then, she heard footsteps behind her and turned to see the boy running up to her. His bare feet throwing up dirt as he ran. He finally caught up with her and they walked together to the fence post.

            When they reached the fence post, Maria stopped. Here is where she took the time to admire the surroundings. The skinny trees which towered high above Maria, the beautiful colors, and if she closed her eyes, she could focus on birds singing love songs. Then she continued, once again, into the woods. A day like that sweltering summer day was the perfect time to be in the shaded woods. Especially woods that had a creek. As they walked over fallen leaves and sticks, Maria wondered about the boy.

            “Do you have a name?” she asked. The boy swallowed.

            “That’s ok, you don’t have to tell me. You don’t have to tell me anything actually-“

            “David,” the boy said, “My name is David,”

            “Where do you live?” Maria questioned as she climbed over a fallen tree.

            “Down off, uh, Mansfield Road,” David replied climbing over the tree after Maria.

            “Mansfield!” Maria exclaimed, “that’s almost three miles away! What are you doing over here?” she stopped and looked at him, concerned. He shrugged his shoulders, showing no sign of concern.

            “Do your parents know your this far out?” Maria asked in a worried tone as David kept walking.

            “Yeah, they don’t care,” David kept walking through the woods even though he didn’t know where he was going, “well, my mom does care a little, but she just listens to my father,”

            “Oh, and so your father doesn’t care?” Maria questioned.

            “Nah,”

            “Why not?” Maria wondered. David shrugged his shoulders in response.

            “He’s got bills to pay and a family to provide for,” David spoke in a mocking tone. Maria stopped walking and turned to look at him.

            “Funny that he says that cause’ he just spends his money on beer, and a stupid statue of a rooster that he put in the front yard,” David picked up a stick.

            “That’s interesting,” she was unsure of how to respond, “I’m sorry,”

            “It’s not your fault; besides, you should be sorry for my little brothers,” David continued walking, slashing the stick at little green plants along the trail, “they’re twins, and I have to take care of them a lot,”

            “What are their names,” Maria asked as she got in front of David to lead the way.

            “Luke and John,” David responded, throwing his stick off in the distance.

            “Hmm, catchy,” Maria laughed, “are they really close?”

            “Yeah,” David chuckled, “It’s two against one when I’m around them,”

Maria walked under the half-fallen tree, which meant that the creek was close. She finally began to hear and see the little creek in the distance.

            “You come out hear a lot?” David asked as they came upon the creek.

            “Just about every day,” she smiled. The creek welcomed her with the sounds of gentle running water. She could almost feel the sensation of the crisp, cool water rushing around her feet. She began to untie her converse and then she set them upon a nearby rock. David, having no shoes to take off, gladly walked into the creek.

            “It’s so cold,” David turned to look at Maria, somewhat surprised, since it was so hot out.

            “It runs all year long, so the water stays cold,” Maria replied as she walked into the creek. David let out a laugh and then sat down in the almost two feet of water. Then he leaned back, submerging his head under the moving water.

            Maria and David stayed in the creek for close to an hour, until they became somewhat tired and decided to go to the shore and sit on the rocks.

            “The stones are thirsty,” Maria stated as cupped her hands, scooped up some water, and then poured it over the rock that she was sitting on.

            “They’re just rocks,” David chuckled in response.

            “Maybe, but I think they’re special,”

            “You’re pretty strange,” David told her.

            “Thanks,” Maria laughed, “my mom says it’s ok to be different, she tells me that I’m one of a kind,” Maria noticed David smile, and then look away, but his smiled faded.

            “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad,” Maria responded. David shook his head.

            “Nah, you didn’t make me sad,” he paused as he picked a blade of grass beside him, “I’m glad you’re happy,”

            “You deserve to be happy too, you know,” Maria replied. David, once again, shook his head from side to side. Maria noticed the sun was beginning to set.

            “Hey, I’ve got to get home,” Maria stood up. David reluctantly stood up also.

            “You’re not allowed to stay out after dark?” David questioned. Maria shook her head.

            “My mom doesn’t like me to,” she responded as began to put her converse back on.

            “Oh, yeah, well-,” David began.

            “I’ll be out tomorrow though,” Maria told him. David smiled.

            “So will I,”

            “Well, I can meet you at the creek then, since you know where it is now,” Maria said.

            “Ok,” David agreed and then stuck out his hand. Maria smiled and then shook his hand. She then began to make her way out of the woods and onto the dirt road.

            She began to hear the crickets and could feel a slight drop in the temperature as she walked back. As much as she didn’t want to think about it, she knew that David would not be going home for some time.

            The next day, Maria decided to pack some food and water to take with her to the creek. Once she had packed two chicken salad sandwiches and two bottles of water in a bag, she slung it over her shoulder and began to make her way to the creek. Upon arriving at the creek, she set the bag down and observed the area. It seemed as though David hadn’t arrived yet. She began to untie her converse as she sat on the big, flat rock.

            “Hey,” David’s voice appeared, “look what I’ve built,”

            Maria turned to her left to see David appear from the woods. She stood up and could see a little fort that David had built with some fallen sticks and limbs.

            “How long did it take you?” Maria asked curiously.

            “Not too long, I got it up before dark,” David responded with a proud tone in his voice.

            “Before dark?” Maria questioned, “you mean you stayed out here last night?”

            “Yeah,” David responded enthusiastically. Maria’s mouth dropped open.

            “David,” she spoke harshly, “that’s not safe,”

            “It’s fine,” David chuckled, “I do it all the time,” he then walked over to the creek and began to walk around, splashing the water by kicking his legs.

            “You mean you haven’t been home since yesterday?” David nodded his head and seemed unbothered by Maria’s concern.

            “Well, at least I brought some food,” Maria picked up the bag and held it out to him. David ran out of the creek and sat down on the rock beside Maria.

            “Really! I’m starving,” David tore open the bag and began to scoff down the first sandwich. Maria sat quite stunned as she observed David. He truly was starving. He swallowed the last bite of the first sandwich and then grabbed the other one. Before he bit into it though, he paused.

            “Were you going to eat this?” He asked. Maria shook her head.

            “David, you have to go home,” Maria said hesitantly as she watched David devour both sandwiches and the waters.

            “I will,” David wiped his mouth, “when I think it’s ok to go back,”

            “What about your brothers?” Maria replied. David sat silent for a moment, then he rubbed his forehead.

            “Yeah, I got to go back,” he spoke quietly.

            David and Maria spent the rest of that day playing in the creek. However, they both knew that the fun time would end, understanding that David would have to return home. Acknowledging that he would be in some type of trouble, David told Maria that he didn’t know when he would be back. Thus, reluctantly, the two parted ways, unsure of when they would meet again.

            For the next five days, Maria went to the creek, however, David was never there. When one week passed, Maria decided that she would wait three more days and if she didn’t see David, she would go and find his house, to make sure that he was still alive. Although it was still a sizzling summer day, the sun was not that bright. Grayish clouds were slowly overtaking the blue sky as Maria walked down the dirt road. The wind blew harshly, continuously stirring up the dust into her eyes. She could see the dark grey storm clouds coming nearer in the distance.

            She began to run toward the fence post, where she would enter the woods. Running quickly, yet cautiously, she made her way over the fallen sticks and leaves. She came upon the creek and stopped running. And to her surprise stood David, leaning on a tree.

            “David!” Maria said excitedly, “you’re back!”

            “Yeah,” David chuckled, “still alive,”

            “What happened?” Maria asked as she sat down on the big, flat rock.

            “Well, whenever I got home, my parents weren’t too mad,” David sat down beside her, “but my dad took me with him to the rock quarry, where he works,”

            “The rock quarry?” Maria spoke in a haunted tone, “you mean the one that’s a full day away? The one where people die?”

            “Yeah,” David paused, “yeah, I worked really hard, and they want me to come back,”

            “No, you can’t,” Maria shook her head.

            “Why not? I’m still alive,” David stood up.

            “How many people did you see get killed?” Maria demanded.

            “Three,” David spoke quietly, “I got caught in the middle of a gun fight actually,”

            Maria stood up and threw her hands in the air. The wind was picking up a lot, so she struggled to keep her hair out of her face.

            “Do you hear yourself? I only saw three people die,” Maria questioned him forcefully.

            “Yeah, but the pay is really good. I can buy my own food now, Maria,” David paused, “but you wouldn’t understand that,”

            “Look, I’m just trying to look out for you,” Maria responded.

            “I don’t need you to look out for me,” David stood straighter. Maria slowly began to nod her head as she began to feel small, cold raindrops hit her skin.

            “Fine,” Maria awkwardly fidgeted with the hem of her dress, “guess I’ll see you around then,” She then turned quickly and began to run away from the creek. The rain was coming down steadily now and it was cold on her skin. She ran onto the dirt road, which would soon be turned into a mud road. Her feet hit the ground hard as she ran with anger.

            “Maria!” She heard her name being called.

            “Maria, wait!” David yelled after her as he ran behind her. Since he was faster, he caught up to Maria and grabbed her arm, slowing her down.

            “What?” Maria yelled, “I thought you didn’t need me!”

            “That’s not what I said!” David yelled in response, “I said I don’t need you to look out for me, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to,”

            Maria opened her mouth as if to say something, but she said nothing. She realized that David was saying that he was sorry. Maria looked at David. His white shirt was soaked and was see through now. His brown hair was dripping wet and stuck to his head. She could see raindrops fly off his eyelashes every time he blinked. He breathed heavily and had a look of desperation in his eyes. Unsure of what to say, Maria gave him a hug.

            “Come on, we should get out of the rain,” Maria said as she squinted her eyes, trying to see better in the now down pour.

            Maria and David ran to her house. They ate peanut butter sandwiches and played a few card games before going back outside once the rain had stopped.

            “Where’s your dad?” David asked Maria when they were walking along the dirt road.

            “He um, he passed away three years ago,” Maria responded bluntly.

            “I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” David was slightly shocked, “why didn’t you tell me?”

            “There was never a good time to bring it up,” Maria shrugged her shoulders, wiping the sweat off her brow. It was extra humid out since the rain had just ended. The sun was bright, and Maria thought she could smell the mud and the wet grass.

            “Was it hard?” David asked her. Maria began to nod her head.

            “Yeah,” she paused, “I forgot to give him a hug the last time I saw him. He was in a car wreck,” Maria suddenly stopped talking. She had never told anyone about how she didn’t hug her father before he died and it was stirring up that feeling of sadness, and she didn’t like sad things.

            “I can’t believe school starts in two weeks,” Maria spoke, changing the subject.

            “Yeah,” David agreed, “the boys are gonna make so much fun of me,”

            “Why?” Maria asked.

            “Cause’ I’ve been hanging around a girl,” he responded.

            “Oh please! You poor thing,” Maria laughed. Then she picked up a scoop of mud and threw it at David. Hitting his shoulder, the mud splattered with part of it going onto his face. Maria laughed even harder and began to run down the dirt road.

            Maria and David spent the next two weeks spending all the daylight they got at the creek. Building forts, bridges, and swings, they had created their own paradise. However, once school had started, they couldn’t do that anymore, except in the afternoon. After the first week of school though, Maria saw less and less of David. Eventually he stopped going to school and he even stopped going to the creek. One day, Maria found him at the creek.

            “You better have a good story,” Maria approached him as he sat on the flat rock, tracing the lines with his finger. David said nothing in response and instead just looked forward.

            “Um, David, hello!” Maria spoke up. David stood up, revealing a black eye.

            “Don’t worry about me anymore, Maria,” David walked past her as spoke.

            “What are you talking about?” Maria was getting more frustrated. David stopped walking and turned to face her. He stuck out his hand, waiting for Maria to shake it. She shook her head from side to side, refusing to shake his hand.

            “Why would I do that?” Maria questioned, “I’ll see you tomorrow, when you finally decide to show up at school,” David dropped his hand and began to shake his head.

            “Use your words, David,” she demanded.

            “We’re leaving,” he stated, “my dad lost his job here so, we’re going to the rock quarry, we’re leaving,”

            Maria didn’t know what to say. She took a deep breath, trying to understand what David had just told her.

            “Sorry,” David said.

            “I’ll see you again, right?” Maria asked, quietly. David shrugged his shoulders.

            “Maybe,” he paused, “hopefully,” It was silent for a moment. Maria studied the ground beneath her. The dirt was dry and covered with small pebbles.

            “I got to go now,” David put his hands in his pockets. Maria looked up at David. His left eye was red, from where he had been hit.

            “I never noticed that you have green eyes,” Maria blurted out. David smiled.

            “I’ll see you around, Maria Hope,” he responded.

            “See you around, David,” Maria replied. David took a deep breath and then turned to exit the woods. Maria was left standing in the big woods all by herself. Although she was used to being alone and had often enjoyed it, after spending the summer with David, she had grown to hate it. Maria sat on the flat rock and brought her knees close to her chest. She didn’t cry and she didn’t laugh. In fact, she sat with no emotion written on her face. I didn’t give him a hug. Maria jumped up. She then took off running out of the woods. The sun was beginning to set, making her realize that she sat in the woods for a long time.

            No, no! Maria thought to herself as she ran down the dirt road. Maria didn’t stop running until she got to Mansfield Road, which was three miles away from the creek. Tears began to slowly trickle down her face as she ran harder. Her legs and chest burned, but she couldn’t stop.

            She began to run down Mansfield Road, actively looking for a house with a rooster statue and a sold sign. The houses were far away from the road, and they were spread far apart. However, in the distance she could see a small house on the right side of the road. As she came upon the red, rickety mailbox, she stopped running. She saw the sold sign in the front yard and a tipped-over statue of a red rooster. She then began to run down the long, gravel driveway. There were no cars at the home and no furniture on the front porch.

            She ran up the old wooden steps and knocked on the screen door. She heard nothing. Tears began to flow, and she began to breathe heavily. She opened the screen door and then opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked. She walked inside an empty room. The house smelled like cigarette smoke and water damage. No one was home. Everyone was gone, except for Maria who stood lifeless and limp in the empty front room. She slowly walked out of the house and then sat on the front porch step. With no one around, or even nearby, she hugged her knees and began to cry softly. Maria began to realize that she would probably never see David again. After all, the rock quarry was a dangerous place.

            The crickets were loud. The sun was almost completely away for the night. Yet, Maria still sat on that front porch step. Taking a deep breath, she dried her tears. Coming to the realization that she hated goodbyes; she stood up and began to walk away from Mansfield Road. As she walked past the fence post, she realized that once again, it was just her and her black converse on that lonely dirt road.