Emotion is a privilege. 
I've learned that. 
When you feel, let yourself feel. 

        I've never enjoyed crying so much. 
That moment where saliva pools in your mouth and your entire face burns, and tears fill your eyes as your chest sinks in submission. 

           Like you gave everything, and here you are, watching it all disappear. You just want power and dominance, but all you ever prove to be is a naive, average person. 

You've been terrified and miserable all your life, and all you ever crave is hurting someone else. 

You want to inflict fear and agony on everything around you, because that's interesting and comforting and it's familiar.
 
All we want as humans is to adapt, and when you spend your whole life trying to get used to the changing world around you, you begin to just want to manipulate it for once. 

        You just want it to change to your liking. 
You want to take charge over something for once, instead of groveling in submission to the world. 

So you design your own world, full of pain and torture, where you inflict it all and lead it all and enjoy it all. 

        You become sadistic and disgusting and horrible. 
It is classic human behavior, but something tells you that you're better than humanity. 
        You lie beyond the threshold of perfection and idealization. 
        You are superior. 

But, in reality, you define humanity and classic, cliche desire better than anything else. You're just another power-hungry piece of shit who thinks they're better. 
But you're delusional. 
So delusional. 

You designed a perfect world with narcissists and stupid, power-hungry, sadists, and in this world, you look down on them without realizing they reflect you perfectly.

        I am a parasite on humanity. 
The sort of thing that puts a blight on the world and causes life to be so fucking difficult. 
        I don't mean to be, but I also don't try not to be. 

        And in all honesty, I don't care